Just One Breath

An American girl in Scotland, figuring things out one step at a time

Picking up the pieces.


When Jamie and I discuss how we began to talk again in 1999 we really don’t know. We have our theories but we are just not sure. We both agree that it had to be me that initiated the correspondance again. I am always the one that gets back in touch after one of our breaks. You will read that we have had a few. I am the one that would crack first saying I can’t live with out him or I miss him too much… so that is the theory, we are sticking with it.

What happened this year was a foreshadowing of things to come for us. Jamie came to State College in March of 1999 where I was in my senior year at Penn State University. We had a few days in the snow in State College which were so much fun. I had just gotten a puppy, my Bradley Beagle, and we played and played in the snow with him. Nothing was awkward with our interactions. Had we really fixed our friendship? Were we actually going to be ok?

We decided to take a detour through Amish country on our way home to visit my parents in Wilkes-Barre. We got lost, didn’t see anything great and took a pictures in a random places with the dog… we didn’t care we were together. It was so good to be with him again. It felt natural and easy. How had we missed out on this in Glasgow last year? Why couldn’t we have made this happen before? Being friends was easy, we were good at this. Nothing complicated, nothing sad or hard to deal with… it was bliss. It was us the way we were supposed to be.

We made it to Wilkes-Barre and had a really great few days with my family. We had fancy lunches, long conversations and then…the trip into The City. New York…New York. It was cold and it was magic. I had always loved NYC but this time it was different I was with Jamie and we were experiencing this together. The vibe, the smells, the roasted coconut from the street vender it was all magic. We knew we would come back together one day. It was one of those trips that just sticks with you. It left me with feelings of hope and freshness and above all else possibilities. It was a feeling that I longed to repeat with him.

So happy together!

We had a wonderful time together. It was almost like the summer of 96 minus the cuddles. We both look back on it now and say the cuddles were definitely missing. There is a twinge of regret that goes along with this visit. We now admit we had so much we wanted to say but didn’t because we didn’t want to ruin this time. It was so good to be together and we wanted to leave the past in the past, we were happy now and that was what mattered. We had found our way back to each other and we knew that is where we belonged… we were supposed to be friends forever.

x heather

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